Interested in meditation? It’s easy to learn and has lots of benefits.
One of the primary ways I work with clients is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a highly effective, evidence-based therapy. It provides a framework for living a psychologically healthy, vibrant and meaningful life. ACT can be summarized by this sentence:
Here I am, having the thoughts and feelings I’m having, while committing to doing what matters to me.
How can meditation be helpful?
I want to break this down a bit before we get to how meditation plays a role. The purpose of ACT is to help individuals lead more meaningful lives. That means doing things that matter. The challenge is that our minds can often get in the way. For example, it might be really meaningful to call an old friend you’ve lost touch with. You want to commit to taking action (making the call) but you start to hesitate. You may notice some anxiety creeping in - what if the conversation is awkward? What if it doesn’t go well? You may notice thoughts pop up that suggest doing something else instead (hello procrastination). So you put off the call for another day.
Working with ACT is all about how to do what matters (call your friend) while being willing to have the thoughts and feelings that may be scary or painful, i.e. doing what matters even if you feel awkward, anxious, etc. This requires several skills: 1) the ability to be mindful of what is going on (I’m having all kinds of thoughts and feelings about making this call), 2) the ability to put some space between you and these experiences so that you can have better awareness and 3) the ability to come back into the present moment, get in touch with your values (what matters to you) and take action.
Meditation helps with all three of these. It is simply a tool for building awareness of the present moment and practicing not judging the moment or getting caught up in the moment.
Present moment awareness
The practice of meditation is about coming into the present moment. As soon as we do so we begin to notice lots of things. Why does this matter? Because often our minds are living in the past or the future! We are caught up in regret for things that happened before or fear of things that might happen, even if here in the present moment things might actually be OK.
Noticing your thoughts and getting some space
As you practice meditation you will soon notice how busy your mind is. Thoughts are constantly showing up. A misconception about meditation is that it is a practice where you learn to clear your mind of thoughts. While some practitioners may experience moments of open empty mind, most of us are dealing with busy minds that never really stop. That’s OK. Being able to notice your thoughts is powerful because so often our thoughts influence our behaviors. The more we can notice them the more space we can create to see our thoughts and have them rather than buy into them.
Accepting what is
The practice of meditation is about accepting what you are experiencing and what is happening in the present moment. Just as you notice your busy mind, learning to accept that you have a busy mind is part of meditation practice, as is learning to accept the feelings that show up, including the painful ones, as well as urges to scratch an itch or check the time. Building skills around acceptance is important because often what is meaningful in our lives means accepting challenging feelings, thoughts, urges, etc. and taking action anyway.
There are lots of ways to meditate
The good news is that there are many ways you can practice meditation. Many techniques focus on the breath but some focus on a repeated word or mantra. Some meditation practices may focus on movement like walking or yoga and some may incorporate prayer and spirituality as well. Give different techniques a try and see what resonates for you.
A simple way to start meditating
Find a comfortable posture. You don’t have to sit in any special position. You can sit on the floor, on a cushion, or on a chair. Posture does matter, however. While you want to be comfortable you also want to be in a position that allows you to feel alert.
After you’ve found a good posture you can decide if you would prefer to close your eyes or keep them open. Some individuals find they concentrate better with eyes closed but others find themselves getting distracted and drifting off when they do this. If you keep your eyes open find a spot where you can softly focus your attention.
It can be helpful to start with some awareness of what is going on around you and inside of you. You can start by noticing sounds around you. As you notice sounds, just label them: air conditioner, car traffic, etc. Then, bring your attention to body sensations you are noticing. You may notice the temperature of the air on your arms or some part of your body that aches. Simply notice and label these experiences.
Finally, bring your attention to your breath. You may find it helpful to notice a particular aspect of your breath. For example, you may bring your attention to the sensation of air entering and exiting your nostrils or you might notice your chest expanding and contracting. Continue to focus on your breath and observe your breathing as it happens naturally. There is no need to breath in a forced manner.
It can be helpful to count your breaths. I suggest breathing in and then counting “one” silently on the exhale, then inhale, count “two” on the exhale, etc. Count to ten and then start over. If you find your mind getting busy and you get lost counting, just start back at “one”.
That’s it. You’re meditating. You can do this for five minutes or 15 minutes. I think it is more important to practice consistently than to try to have a marathon meditation session.
A busy mind is part of meditation
Well, that’s almost it. You probably know what happens next. As you watch your breath, a thought shows up in your awareness. Or you become completely immersed in your thoughts to the point that time passes and you realize you’re completely lost in your thoughts. Or your knee starts aching and that grabs your attention. Or you hear sounds outside and find yourself listening to these.
All of this is natural and a part of meditation. In fact, working with your thoughts, body sensations and outside noises is just as important as focusing on your breathing. When these happen, simply notice and label the experience (e.g. “thinking” “knee” “cars”) and bring your attention back to your breath. That’s it. And you might spend an entire meditation session doing this - that’s OK. You’re still meditating.
As you practice meditation you build up the capacity, a mental muscle, that allows you to focus on the present moment (your breath), notice what’s happening (thoughts, feelings, sounds, sensations), create space from your experience (label thoughts, feelings, etc.) and choose something meaningful (return to breath). The more you practice the more you can start seeing the benefits of using this out in the world and your life.