Want to struggle less with anxiety? Take meaningful action.
Image of a traffic signal indicating that it is safe to walk. Photo by Wesley Tingey on Unsplash
This is the final part of a six part series where I discuss how the principles of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can help you reduce the struggle with anxiety and move you toward a more meaningful life. In this post, I’ll be discussing how building patterns of committed action is so important if you struggle with anxiety.
If you live with anxiety you likely spend a lot of time struggling.
If you experience anxiety it can be easy to move from living the life you want to spending a lot of time struggling to get rid of anxiety or avoid situations that cause anxiety. Life becomes more about struggling with anxiety and less about living.
It’s easy to get stuck in this cycle for a long time. And as you stay in this cycle of trying to get rid of or avoid anxiety life can become less meaningful and vibrant. You may find yourself doing less of the things that really matter to you. The challenge with this is that life will continue to throw things at you that cause anxiety. As much as you try you can’t get rid of anxiety.
Consider what life would look like for you if you struggled less. What kinds of actions/behaviors/scenarios would you see more of? It can be a useful exercise to consider because often when we are caught up in our struggle with anxiety we aren’t even sure what life might look like if we weren’t always struggling.
If change was easy you would have done it by now.
A way to move forward and out of this struggle cycle is to shift from trying to get rid of or avoid anxiety and move toward actions that feel meaningful, that make our lives feel richer and fuller.
Introducing new behaviors that move you toward a meaningful life can bring up a lot of hard stuff. If you consider taking some kind of action that will move your life forward, it is likely that you will bump into challenging feelings like anxiety, worry thoughts, memories of times you were overwhelmed in the past, etc. You might even notice uncomfortable situations in your body or the urge to just not do anything so you don’t feel bad. This is why actual change can be quite difficult to make happen.
I’m not suggesting forcing yourself to do something that feels awful or is overwhelming. However, scaling your behavior down to something more manageable and identifying what feels workable can really help. Consider something that matters a great deal to you (something that you value), now consider what action you’d like to take. What if it meant you had to experience some anxiety to have it? If the idea of doing something brings anxiety up for you, can you scale it down a bit? Can you break the action down into more manageable chunks or do something smaller that brings up less anxiety? Scaling can be a great way to try out something new.
How taking action works.
Here’s an example. Having connections with others is likely very meaningful to you. You might want friends or a romantic relationship or you might want existing relationships to feel more connected. If you experience social anxiety, all of these things can become more of a struggle. You might find yourself avoiding social situations that feel uncomfortable, even though they foster great connection. Life starts to feel smaller and less vibrant.
How can you move forward? Any action you take may trigger anxious feelings, thoughts, body sensations, etc. And yet, being in social situations is the only way to build connections. Rather than continue to avoid situations that trigger anxiety you could try identifying actions that feel smaller and more manageable, actions that might bring up a level of anxiety that you are willing to have. It could mean starting to choose smaller social settings that involve less people or more casual interactions that have less expectations around them (for example, meeting someone for coffee rather than going out for an entire evening). The goal is to expose yourself to a manageable amount of anxiety while you do more things that matter to you.
Start small to move your life forward.
Consider what might look different if your life was going in the direction that you want. While you can’t get rid of anxiety, you can take steps to live the life you want. Starting small and choosing actions that you’re willing to try is a great place to start.