Mental Health During a Pandemic: Coping with What You Cannot Control

Image of a mountain range. Photo by Marco Bicca on Unsplash

Right now it seems that almost everything is unknown and that we have very little control. At least it feels that way. And these two factors can create enormous anxiety. 

The fact is that on many levels this is true. We don’t know very much about what today, tomorrow or next month will bring and we don’t have much control on many levels. It’s easy to get tangled in these thoughts and feelings and to become overwhelmed by them. 

Once we move into overwhelm and our nervous systems become overactivated, we are no longer able to problem solve or think creatively. Our thinking brains shut down and we act from a purely emotional place. This is where things like panic buying of toilet paper or obsessively checking the news happens. We are grabbing at control where it doesn’t exist. 

Control and know what you can.

So what can you do right now? When I think about my work with trauma a common theme I see over and over is that when my clients recall the horrible things that happened to them, the worst part is often feeling that they were helpless, that they had no control over what happened to them. That gives a hint about how we can become more resilient during the current pandemic and over the next few weeks and months: foster a sense of control to get you through this difficult time. 

How to do this? Think locally. You can control your routine, your personal environment, and your health. You can control how you connect with people and how you show up. You can exert control over the pandemic by following public health recommendations. You can take control by supporting others who are struggling. There are lots of places where you do have choice and you can exert some control. It can be helpful to intentionally consider these as you consider the days and weeks ahead.

Practice not being in control and not knowing. 

What can you do about all the stuff that’s not in your control and all the things that you do not know? Ultimately it’s about cultivating a practice of lessening the struggle you are experiencing, easing your attachment to a future outcome and gently moving back into the present moment. There are lots of ways to do this. Your breath is a valuable tool for learning how to loosen your grip on the future, create some space for not knowing, and relaxing a bit when you feel out of control. When you feel overwhelmed, it can be really helpful to use your senses or other relaxation techniques to guide you back to the present moment.

Through all of this, take care of yourself. 

Consider that your nervous system is likely over engaged most of the time. You are spending much of your time being vigilant and even routine tasks can become difficult. Self-care is critical right now in order to remain resilient. There are lots of areas where you can bring some attention to this. Your sleep patterns, nutrition, exercise, media consumption and interactions with others (remote or otherwise) are all areas where you can focus on taking care of yourself. These simple acts can build resiliency.

This is an extraordinarily difficult time and so much is unknown and changing. But there is much in your control and many ways to cultivate resilience right now. Identifying where you have control, loosening your grip on what you can’t control and taking focused steps to take care of yourself can all help you continue to survive and grow during this time.